


Sometimes I Worry About Me

by cartoonjunkie



Category: Green Day, The Network
Genre: Implied Relationships, M/M, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Multiple Personalities, Schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 20:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2824598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cartoonjunkie/pseuds/cartoonjunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate timeline where after the success of American Idiot Billie becomes too overwhelmed by the pressure of making a new album and plummets into a downward spiral that causes him to question his sanity...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes I Worry About Me

"Shut Up! I Do Not!" The charcoal haired man shouted into the air of his dark empty bedroom. It was empty right? So why was he shouting?

"Heh, Yes you do." Came that uncomfortably all-too-familiar voice again? "You have for a long time now, even before I showed up. You've always been too afraid to tell anyone anything so thats why everyone stoped trying, and then you had no one to talk to so that's how I came to be..."

Billie sat up from his bed and gazed at the doorframe and at the mysterious person that was leaning on it arms crossed. He resembled Billie in a lot of ways, his hair was the same charcoal color with the same set of hazel-green eyes that seemed to glare at Billie menacingly, but his face was covered by a black and white stripped cloth where only the eyes and mouth were cut out, and the way he dressed looked like he was an 80's fashion reject. He wore a black and white stripped shirt and a tuxedo that seemed to be covered with bright red duct-tape, same with his pants. And he also wore these old stripped gloves with the fingers cut off which exposed his black painted nails, all complete with a pair of worn Converse on his feet.

"That's not true. I know plenty of people I could talk to." said Billie staring back at the masked man cautiously, now sitting on the edge of his bed wearing nothing but socks, boxers, and a plain shirt.

"Then why are you talking to me?" the man gave Billie a smug, devilish smirk knowing that he was finally getting to Billie. Billie sat there for a second or two thinking about what he said.

"I... I don't have to talk to you, Fink." stated Billie angrily. That name? How did he know it? Getting up from his bed Billie walked over into his bathroom where Fink was now sitting on the toilet tank cover.

"Don't be so credulous Billie," said Fink as Billie placed his hands under the running water of the sink then brought them up to his face. "Just admit it." Fink continued.

"Admit what exactly?" Billie asked drying off his face with a hand towel. He really didn't like asking Fink questions in fear of what the answer might be half the time. Billie turned to leave the bathroom, but stopped due to Fink standing in the doorway so Billie was unable to make it past him.

Fink smiled at his question and answered, "I'm the only friend you have Billie."

Again Billie went silent but with a look of disbelief on his face. "...You... You're lying." Billie pushed his way through Fink and re-entered his room and headed toward his dresser.

"Oh am I?" Fink was now sitting on Billie's bed. "How does that song go again? Oh yes, 'Nobody likes you, Everyone left you, They're all out without you, Having fun," He sang tauntingly in and out of tune.

"Shut up..." Billie mumbled, his fingers wrapping around one of his old music awards from years ago, unoticed by Fink.

"He wrote that song about you y'know, cause he knew this would happen, he always knew-"

"Leave Me ALONE!" Billie screamed as he threw the award at Fink as hard as he could, but there was no one there. His eyes scanned the room for any sign of Fink, but he was nowhere in site. Billie let his guard down thinking that Fink was finally gone, until suddenly he felt a pair of strong hands grab hold of his wrists, and the next thing he knew he was being pinned to the wall. When Billie opened his eyes he saw those all too familiar, yet unwelcome hazel-green eyes staring back at him.

"Let me go Fink!" Billie struggled to get out of Finks grasp, but he was somehow stronger than Billie was.

"He cared about you," Fink spoke, his non-blinking eyes never averting his gaze from Billie's. "You knew it too, he could have been yours, you could have been together, happy, but you threw that all away, and why? Because you were afraid? Afraid that people would know? Afraid to share the same feelings he did for you? Or were you just afraid of yourself-"

"SHUT UP!" the former lead singer shouted.

"He Loved You, Billie!" Fink yelled.

And after hearing those words Billie went speechless, eyes wide with shock, disbelief, and confusion.

"W-what?" Billie spoke in almost a whisper his eyes finally making contact with Finks.

"My God Billie, you really are that clueless. The signs were all around you. The way he looked at you, the way he wanted to be near you all the time, even that one time when you got wasted at that party, and he leaned over and "accidentally" kissed you on the corner of your mouth. And how he was crushing over you the whole night, he even asked you if he could "stay at your house for the night", but no. You said he couldn't and closed the door right in his face, you tore him apart, you spat in his face, you threw him away like a useless toy… You tossed him aside, as if he were nothing. Why Billie? Because you were afraid?"

"...I... I was afraid..." Billie spoke weakly.

"Of what?" Fink smiled, knowing that this was the first thing he had gotten Billie to admit all night

"I knew he cared about me, that he had strong feelings for me, I always knew but… I was afraid that, if people knew... knew about us, they wouldn't like us anymore. I was afraid that I would lose the band, lose my wife and kids, and I... I didn't want that to happen..." Billie looked to the ground in thought of the memories to his dark past.

Fink merely shook his head, "Well, I hate to break it to ya Billie-boy, even though I just love seeing you in pain and misery, but in case you haven't noticed by now… your wife and kids left you a looooong time ago. And do you remember why? Or is that another chapter in your sad and pathetic life that I have to remind you of?" Fink still had Billie against the wall, only now Billie had given up the struggle of trying to get out of Fink's clutches.

"...I don't remember." Said the smaller man as he looked to the ground again, losing the will to fight or even think for himself anymore.

"Hm, doesn't really surprise me, I mean that is about the time that I showed up, so you did kinda have your hands full not only dealing with your wife, but also had me pestering you at the same time." Fink gave Billie a wide smug smile. "She left you because you were weak Billie, not just emotionally, but it was obvious to her your sanity was slowly slipping away as well. For all sorts of reasons, though I admit I'm the one mostly to blame for that." Fink smiled even wider, knowing that Billie must have been completely dumbstruck by now.

And he was. Standing there with his back against the cold wall of his dimly lit room with Fink still pinning him against it, and the waves of mixed emotion that was pulsing through Billie's mind could be compared to that of a hurricane, no it was much more intense than that. This was beyond anything he could even comprehend and so overwhelming that the only thing he could do was cry? Fink took notice to this, and smiled devilishly.

Billie finally gazed up at Fink, and he could see the tears begin to run down Billie's pale cheeks. "I don't know what to do anymore Fink. I'm so confused..." Billie spoke through sobs, looking deep into Finks eyes hoping to find the answers in there somewhere.

This display stirred feelings inside Fink. It was a fetish of his to see other people in pain, misery, and strife. And the more tears Billie cried, the more this urge seemed to grow, but Fink held it back. Realizing that Fink wasn't going to answer him, Billie hung his head and stared at the ground between he and Finks feet, eyes burning from crying so much. Even though he knew Fink wasn't going to answer, he asked the question anyway.

"What should I do Fink?" he spoke breathlessly. And after that, Fink couldn't hold it in anymore. He placed his fingers under Billie's chin and brought his head up so that their eyes met once again, and in one swift movement Fink covered Billie's mouth with his, eagerly forcing his tongue inside the weaker mans mouth.

Billie didn't even fight back having lost all train of thought, he just stood there almost motionless, letting the stronger man consume him as he mindlessly closed his eyes and opened his mouth more so Fink could take more of him, and in this kiss something was happening to Billie. He could feel everything. Every sensation and every emotion from all the forgoten memories of his dark and terrible past came back to him like a raging Tsunami, swirling and crashing against the walls of his mind until all at once like water down a drain... there was nothing. His mind became blank, empty… numb.

Fink pulled away from the kiss, and finally let go of Billie's wrists knowing that he wasn't going to escape anymore. Billie lifelessly let his arms fall to his sides eyes still closed.

"You know what you have to do..." Finks voice echoed in Billie's mind.

"...I... I know what I have to do..." Billie mindlessly repeated to himself.

"You know what the problem is, and you know how to fix it..." Fink continued.

"...Fix... the problem..."

"So, what are you going to do, Billie?"

Billie opened his eyes, taking a deep breath before uttering his final words, "... Kill him..."

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a long time ago and had planned to continue it but it's been so long that I forgot where I was going with it. Heavily inspired by the movie Secret Window at the time.


End file.
